Five Subtle Signs That He Ain't Bad
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Although offering sistas suggestions on how to "better their relationship luck” definitely fits in with vsb's crime-fighting ideals, the advice is useless if they're unwittingly targeting faulty dudes.
Sure, from "he has three baby-mommas, and each of his seeds were born on the exact same day” to "he's a kappa” there are many easy to see traits of probable relationship bitchassness, but there are also some aint sh*t cats whose aint sh*t-ness is stealth. while these dudes don't exactly have neon "date me at your own risk” signs patched on their blazers, the tells are there, you just need to know what to look for and why
Anyway, as an early christmas gift to our sistas (and brothas who'll eventually have to date sistas affected by aint sh*t dudes), here's five subtle signs that he probably aint sh*t
He always refers to women as "females”
While the word female is appropriate under certain contexts, beware of the cat who uses it as his universal descriptor of all women. honestly, although i have a few theories (my favorite one has something to do with sting and the police), i have absolutely no idea why this is such a strong indicator of aint sh*tness. but, every guy i've known who regularly incorporates female in their daily lexicon in lieu of other appropriate substitutes (woman, chick, earth, concubine, etc) has been an aint sh*t dude, so go figure
He's a grown-ass man with abs
While certain professions (professional athlete, physical trainer, guido, stripper, etc) make sculpted abdominal muscles a reasonable and practical asset, the fact that our metabolism gets all slowsky and sh*t on us as we age means that a grown-ass man with artificially enhanced abs is probably too obsessed with himself (and sleeping with other men) to give a damn about you.
Also, if this all just sounds like a bunch of thinly-veiled haterade, good. mission accomplished.
All of his friends are "new”
I've alluded to this before, but every guy worth his salt has at least a couple friends he's had for at least a decade. if you meet a guy and 'the game' was around longer than each of his bff's, he's probably faultier than ray j's suits.
He's a conspiracy theorist
You know exactly who i'm talking about...the cat who thinks that every professional sporting event is fixed, the guy who swears that AIDS doesnt really exist and thinks that its a racket created by the government to make people pay for AIDS drugs, the idiot who swears that if you divide the mayan calender year you were born by the sixth digit of your social security number, it equals the number of cameras the Illuminati secretly implanted in your rectum the last time you got your teeth cleaned, which is why he refers to dick cheney as "the dentist”.
Thing is, since everything is already predetermined or "fixed' in their minds, most serious conspiracy theorists believe in blame-gaming and don't believe in personal accountability, a trait aint sh*t dudes love more than crackheads love radio shack.
His favorite professional athletes are assholes
Trust me, murdering every man (and women) who's ever purchased a terrell owens, kobe, stephon marbury, or ray "the double murderer' lewis jersey would do wonders for black america's relationship health, and would probably make vsb completely obsolete.
Wait, on second thought, nevermind. forget i even said that.
Anyway, falks, did i miss anything? Can you think of anymore "hidden” or subtle signs that a guy is worth less than a mexican quarter?
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