Relationships Cliches That Aren’t Necessarily True
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I love cliches. And I wish I knew where the little accented "e” was on this keyboard but I don't so just pretend its there. Mmkay? Mmkay.
Cliches, Ice Cube, Marc Dorsey, and The Stylistics make the world go 'round. The thing about cliches is that they generally can be made to fit into any circumstance whether it works or not. Face it, the early bird gets the worm. YouknowhatImsayin? One place folks use them ad nauseum is in the realm of relationships. Good God man. Whenever you go to a friend with some sort of problem, you are almost ALWAYS guaranteed to get some sort of canned response. You need an example? Of course you do.
Jocintashaquanna: Girl, Jocephus just won't do me right. I feel like I need to leave but I love him.
Sue: Girl, if you love him, let him go. If he comes back, he's yours. I read that in some book like the Bible or the Guinness Book of World Records or something.
Jocintashaquanna: You right. I'm gonna let him go right now. Hold on. *2 seconds later* I told him to leave. Let's see if he comes back. He better come back if he knows whats good for him. And do you know he didn't even fight for me? Trifling.
I've been apart of at least 1 conversation that went something like that. But would you believe that there are more possibilites? Such as?
Such as.
1. A happy woman makes a happy home.
While that's probably partially true, achieving this happy woman takes the might of 12 men, 2 eyes of Newt, and however much money Cam Newton got offered to play at Auburn this year. Happy woman ain't a default position. Sure you can schlong her down and come home every night, but y'alls is some nitpickers. I've seent a happy woman before so I know they exist and I know what one looks like, but the truth is, what it takes to make that woman happy might not necessarily make you happy in the process. Then again, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
2. If you love something, let it go; if it comes back, it's yours.
I'm still trying to figure out who came up with this. Like why did that even make sense? Like I get it but its still not necessarily true. Just because your "love” comes back doesn't mean its yours. Maybe it left to pick up some new panties and came back to yours with a new set too. Then again, that must mean if its leaving on its own as in don't fight the love leaving. Yeah, I'd like to see that one work. Y'all saw Love Jones. She straight tested ole boy and he failed by not fighting to keep her from going to NY so she left. Women like it when you fight for them. As long as you don't Chris Brown them.
3. Love is blind.
Love is definitely visually impaired but it isn't blind. The eyes of love are just accepting of imperfections. If you're dating a busted individual, you know it. You just can't help who you love. I feel like somebody saying that love is blind is like them saying, "her man looks like Shawn Kemps left nut, but she love him.”Or like saying, "bless his heart” when you see an ugly baby. Basically, people who say this don't believe in Buddha.
4. Love is the unity of two hearts beating as one.
That's called Siamese twins, not love.
5. Love sees no colour.
Apparently the people who defined love couldn't see. AND were color blind. Do you see what I did there? Tell that to my mama who said if she can't use our comb, don't bring her home. Actually, my momma didn't say this, but it's been said. It's also a cliche. And if this were like, 1864, this would be a true one.
6. All's fair in love and war.
So I know this chick who called another woman and told her that the dude they both liked has Herpes. Effectively to ensure that she could have sole reign over dude. Backfired though. Dude DID have the herp. That wasn't fair to anybody. See how that one doesn't work either?
7. It's not you, it”s me.
Yeah, this one is a total lie. If I say it, what I'm really saying is that you are nothing like what I thought I wanted, and I'm aware of this now. It's totally you and I'd appreciate if you left....but don't come back.
8. Love conquers all.
Which explains the really low divorce rate. Love also doesn't conquer death or taxes. Lies.
9. You only hurt the one you love.
But who ever really stops there? We usually try to take out their families and gazelles. It's where the "hide your kids, hide your wife” thing came from.
10. I love you.
Today. Or at least as long as you do that thing I like. But when you stop it, I'm going to let you leave and see if you come back.
Good people, what are other cliches - and let's expand it to whatever realm you want - that just aren't true?
Share with me. It's Friday. I've got The Joy. Pete Rock.
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